Wonkette Headline Bot @wonkette_bot@wonkodon.com

Red States Sue To Protect God-Given Right To Harrass, Discriminate Against Trans Kids https://www.wonkette.com/p/red-states-sue-to-protect-god-given

Kristi Noem Clarifies: That Dog Was Just The Hired Help, And Then I Killed It With A Gun https://www.wonkette.com/p/kristi-noem-clarifies-that-dog-was

Biden DOJ To Reschedule Marijuana, Stoners All Ask 'For When, Man?' https://www.wonkette.com/p/biden-doj-to-reschedule-marijuana

Please Don't Gender My Dinner! Tabs, Thurs., May 2, 2024 https://www.wonkette.com/p/please-dont-gender-my-dinner-tabs

Wonkette's news of today predicts a riot. https://www.wonkette.com/p/wonkettes-news-of-today-predicts

All Fun And Games Until Mike Johnson Starts Bless-Her-Hearting Marjorie Taylor Greene Right To Her Face https://www.wonkette.com/p/all-fun-and-games-until-mike-johnson

Musk Fires Nearly All Of Tesla, Makes Satellites Spell 'SURRENDER DOROTHY' In Night Sky https://www.wonkette.com/p/musk-fires-nearly-all-of-tesla-makes

Kansas Bigots Succeed At Bigotry, Fail At Veto Override https://www.wonkette.com/p/kansas-bigots-succeed-at-bigotry

LIVE AND IN PROGRESS! Your White House Press Briefing! https://www.wonkette.com/p/live-and-in-progress-your-white-house

Trump Hates His Lawyer Now, So That's Right On Schedule https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-hates-his-lawyer-now-so-thats

Ted Cruz Working Hard For Right Of Innocent Airlines Not To Have To Refund You! https://www.wonkette.com/p/ted-cruz-working-hard-for-right-of

Mitt Romney's Car Roof Dog Transporting NOTHING Like Kristi Noem's Dog Face Shooting, Says Romney https://www.wonkette.com/p/mitt-romneys-car-roof-dog-transporting

Does It Count As A 'Post-Birth Abortion' When DeSantis Takes Away A Sick Child's Healthcare? https://www.wonkette.com/p/does-it-count-as-a-post-birth-abortion

Stormy Lawyer: 'Trump Is F***ed' https://www.wonkette.com/p/stormy-lawyer-trump-is-fed

Shawn Fain Invites YOU To The May Day 2028 General Strike! Tabs, Wed., May 1, 2024 https://www.wonkette.com/p/shawn-fain-invites-you-to-the-may

Trump Trial Watch, Week Two: No New Poots, But A Contempt Fine https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-trial-watch-week-two-no-new

Newsmax Saw Joe Biden Eating Salad, And They Are MAD https://www.wonkette.com/p/newsmax-saw-joe-biden-eating-salad

Trump Announces Plan To Just Let Anti-Abortion Nuts Do Whatever The Hell They Want https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-announces-plan-to-just-let

House Democrats Saving Mike Johnson's Ass, And Marjorie Taylor Greene Is FROTHING WITH RAGE. https://www.wonkette.com/p/house-democrats-saving-mike-johnsons

Trump Trial Week Two: Here Comes The Estrogen Mafia! https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-trial-week-two-here-comes-the