Wonkette Headline Bot @wonkette_bot@wonkodon.com

Wonkette's day of news has been a very long year! https://www.wonkette.com/p/wonkettes-day-of-news-has-been-a

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The PK Mai Tai! (With Bonus Painkiller Chaser!) https://www.wonkette.com/p/welcome-to-wonkette-happy-hour-with-da6

Can Vaccines Give You The Gay? An Anti-Vaxxer's 'Groundbreaking' Survey Of People Who Read His Blog! https://www.wonkette.com/p/can-vaccines-give-you-the-gay-an

Richard Nixon Was Cowed By Deep State While Donald Trump Spits At It https://www.wonkette.com/p/richard-nixon-was-cowed-by-deep-state

Does April Jobs Report Mean Inflation's Cooling, Or That Joe Biden's Doomed? https://www.wonkette.com/p/does-april-jobs-report-mean-inflations

Texas Ex From Hell Wants To Sue His Former Girlfriends' Friends Over Her Colorado Abortion https://www.wonkette.com/p/texas-ex-from-hell-wants-to-sue-his

Ron DeSantis Signs Bill To Help Florida Beat Meat https://www.wonkette.com/p/ron-desantis-signs-bill-to-help-florida

Joe Biden Gonna Turn It [Grid Expansion] On, Gonna Bring You The [Renewable] Power! https://www.wonkette.com/p/joe-biden-gonna-turn-it-grid-expansion

Republicans Unable To Determine If Price Gouging Is Good Or Bad, Just Kidding They Think It's Wonderful! https://www.wonkette.com/p/republicans-unable-to-determine-if

Bipartisan Congressmen Start Caucus To Protect Dogs From Getting Noem-ed In The Face https://www.wonkette.com/p/bipartisan-congressmen-start-caucus

Sad News For Reckless Idiots! Tabs, Fri., May 3, 2024 https://www.wonkette.com/p/sad-news-for-reckless-idiots-tabs

Wonkette news today: Gay Zillow porn Lindsay Lohan trans faith healing marijuana! https://www.wonkette.com/p/wonkette-news-today-gay-zillow-porn

Trump Court Thursday: Holy Lindsay Lohan! https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-court-thursday-holy-lindsay

Oregon Faith Healing Parents Arrested Just For Letting Their Two-Day-Old Infant Die https://www.wonkette.com/p/oregon-faith-healing-parents-arrested

One Million Moms Yelling At Gay Zillow Porn Again https://www.wonkette.com/p/one-million-moms-yelling-at-gay-zillow

Marjorie Taylor Greene Opposes Bad, Bipartisan 'Anti-Anti-Semitism' Bill For Bad Reason: It's Not Anti-Semitic https://www.wonkette.com/p/marjorie-taylor-greene-opposes-bad

CNN’s Kaitlan Collins Stuffs JD Vance In Locker https://www.wonkette.com/p/cnns-kaitlan-collins-stuffs-jd-vance

Two (2) AZ Republicans Help Repeal Terrible 1864 Abortion Ban, Leaving Only *Normal* Terrible Abortion Ban! https://www.wonkette.com/p/two-2-az-republicans-help-repeal

Red States Sue To Protect God-Given Right To Harrass, Discriminate Against Trans Kids https://www.wonkette.com/p/red-states-sue-to-protect-god-given

Kristi Noem Clarifies: That Dog Was Just The Hired Help, And Then I Killed It With A Gun https://www.wonkette.com/p/kristi-noem-clarifies-that-dog-was