Wonkette Headline Bot @wonkette_bot@wonkodon.com

Wonkette's day of news was fighting it out for postal supremacy! https://www.wonkette.com/p/wonkettes-day-of-news-was-fighting

James Comer Begging Jesus To Put His Biden Impeachment Investigation Out Of Its Misery https://www.wonkette.com/p/james-comer-begging-jesus-to-put

Nikki Haley Still Got Almost 17 Percent Of Pennsylvania Primary Vote, How About That? https://www.wonkette.com/p/nikki-haley-still-got-almost-17-percent

LIVE: Your Ukraine Victory Lap White House Press Briefing! https://www.wonkette.com/p/live-your-ukraine-victory-lap-white

Louisiana State U Invites Big Oil To Help With Climate 'Research,' If Price Is Right https://www.wonkette.com/p/louisiana-state-u-invites-big-oil

Biden Finally Gets To Sign Ukraine Aid Bill. Buncha Republican Senators Still Too Busy Licking Putin's Boots To Vote 'Yea' https://www.wonkette.com/p/biden-finally-gets-to-sign-ukraine

Joe Biden Keeps Making Work Better, For Workers https://www.wonkette.com/p/joe-biden-keeps-making-work-better

Pecker Premieres https://www.wonkette.com/p/pecker-premieres

Can Idaho ERs Just Let Pregnant Women Die? The Supreme Court Shall See! https://www.wonkette.com/p/can-idaho-ers-just-let-pregnant-women

Trump Is Loneliest, Maddest, Oldest, Most Upsettest Man Who Ever Lived https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-is-loneliest-maddest-oldest

This Traveler's Very Simple $143,000 Mistake! Tabs, Wed., April 24, 2024 https://www.wonkette.com/p/this-travelers-very-simple-143000

Happy Bleachiversary! Celebrating Four Years Since Trump Told People To Inject Disinfectants To Fight COVID! https://www.wonkette.com/p/happy-bleachiversary-celebrating

Help! I'm Obsessed With That Man's Trial! https://www.wonkette.com/p/help-im-obsessed-with-that-mans-trial

LIVE: Joe Biden Giving Big Abortion Speech In Florida, Smacking Crap Out Of Trump https://www.wonkette.com/p/live-joe-biden-giving-big-abortion

Read This Delicious Newly Unsealed Evidence In Jack Smith's Stolen Documents Case Against Trump! https://www.wonkette.com/p/read-this-delicious-newly-unsealed

In Which Roseanne Appears To Get E. Jean Carroll's Story Mixed Up With Her Own https://www.wonkette.com/p/in-which-roseanne-appears-to-get

Former Juror Agrees That Obviously Innocent Toforest Johnson Is Obviously Innocent https://www.wonkette.com/p/former-juror-agrees-that-obviously

AZ Gov. Katie Hobbs Vetoes Actual Buttload Of Bad Republican Bills https://www.wonkette.com/p/az-gov-katie-hobbs-vetoes-actual

Newt Gingrich Worried Judge Gonna Jail Trump, Just Like One Of Those 1960s Civil Rights Workers! https://www.wonkette.com/p/newt-gingrich-worried-judge-gonna

Can Someone Please Explain To Tommy Tuberville That Killing A Newborn Baby Is Homicide? https://www.wonkette.com/p/can-someone-please-explain-to-tommy