(Posted on Wonkette this morning)
My dad was a pretty great guy, as were both the stepfathers my mom married after his death (I was nine years old; my stepdads came in to my life at 10 and 30ish years old). In the society we live in, I feel extremely lucky to have had three good father figures.
Scrolling through the comments here, and seeing the mix of "my dad was awesome," and "my dad sucked," and "my dad was a tortured soul" it makes me think about generational trauma. (1 of 3)
.... I don't wish the distant dads or tortured souls on any child - every single person on the planet deserves healthy adults to guide them in life. But I also think about how those dysfunctional men were processing their own trauma, probably handed down by generations of family and community trauma.
And it also makes me think about all the really great men here - fathers and non-fathers alike - who've been able to somehow ...
(2 of 3)
(3 of 3) .... change the trajectory of their lives by not following in their fathers' painful footsteps. That doesn't just change your lives, it changes all our lives.
So thank you to all the men who've tried and often succeeded in reshaping what men are permitted to be, and the influence they have on all of us.
This is my favorite picture of my dad:
