Mistercanoehead @Mistercanoehead@wonkodon.com

The gender of the day is a congregation of distant fish.

Ho Ho Holy sh*t it's cold!
#Blizzard #snow #MerryChristmas

Whenever I used to hear people say, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” I'd think, "Well, it doesn't work out all that well for the flies either way, does it?" (The point, of course, is that positive reinforcement is no less than controlling than punishment.)

General info: if you see a post tagged #NEISvoid, this means No End In Sight void. It means the post is from someone with a chronic illness or disability that isn't going away. They're venting or seeking to connect with other people who also exist in this void.

Avoid responding to these posts with unsollicited advice or generic 'get well soon' messages - I know you mean well, but we know more about our conditions than you and the tag tells you that we're not gonna get well soon.

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but...
my own horn.

#badpuns

someone tried formatting these windows in a Word doc

Man who was taught how to fish, after about a week: I’m so fucking sick of eating fish

What's the worst #writing advice you've ever gotten?

In university I once went home in tears because a prof I had, who was a published author, told us that "real" writers have just an insatiable need to write all the time, and if you didn't feel a deep, constant need to write maybe you just weren't a "real" writer.

Now that I'm an adult and I talk to other writers, every "real" writer I know is a procrastinating train wreck that prays for the sweet release of death like 90% of the time they spend writing.

So like... idk about that one, prof.

#writers #fiction #authors #fiction

I thought this was common knowledge...

When I get to 100,000 followers on Mastodon I will officially bring Mastodons back from extinction.

Boost and favorite this post to help make this happen ASAP.

Evil Conspiracy Violated James Woods' Right To Put Hunter Biden's Dick On Twitter
https://www.wonkette.com/matt-taibbi-hunter-biden

apparently when I said I wanted to see Les Misérables someday, I should have clarified that I did not mean "unfolding on the streets around me in real time"

#bigdata

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it a thousand times: Encouraging kids to be who they are is suicide prevention.

Me: the kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches.

Wife: okay, throw them out.

Me (helping the kids pack a suitcase): look, I’m just as surprised as you are.

#DadJokes #NotMyFault